I’ve long known that my soul power originates in my yin. When in alignment with my feminine energy I easily and effortlessly nurture myself, my child, my clients and others. My life flows blissfully: I spend my days living connected to my values and my purpose. Until I don't.
Even soul powers manifest in excess.
When my passion gets misplaced, it can disrupt my flow.
When I linger too long in my yin, I forget that my yang needs attention. That is, until something reminds me and I turn my attention to my yang. And with that pivot, I turn my attention away from my life-force -- I turn away from my heart.
And when I turn away from my heart my yin revolts in anger. My back, which carries the responsibility as sole provider for my child, ties up in painful knots. My heart, the seed and source of my soul power, begins to shrink. This inner conflict physically hurts.
Herein lies my inner conflict: I am a solomompreneur trying to live meaningfully in two worlds.
I get curious. I scout for limiting beliefs. Where is there fear?
I get still. I scan for uncomfortable emotions. When do I feel anxious?
Ah, that moment of irritation with my daughter yesterday, what was that really about? Responsibility. Pressure. The pressure to provide for her heart, her soul, her future. Good to know.
My belief: it’s up to me. My emotion: irritation. My motivation: pressure. I start to piece together what I know from what I don’t know.
Then lying on my acupuncture’s table, I begin to feel my energy shift and I experience a succession of ideas that emanate from a single realization: My spiritual lesson is learning how to use my yin to feed my yang.
Rather than turn my back on my heart to ease the pressure, I can service responsibility from my heart.
What I feed thrives.
I can feed both. I must feed both.
My growth edge is living in the threshold between two great desires: How to feed and nurture what is most essential while also supporting the one I feed.
I will make many mistakes along the way. I welcome them. All the magic happens outside of my comfort zone.
I hope you'll join me as I figure it out.