Figuring It Out

I’ve long known that my superpower originates in my yin (my feminine energy). In this sweet spot, I easily and effortlessly nurture and shepherd myself, my child, and my clients. The ROI is high. My life flows blissfully: I spend my days living my dharma - my purpose. What, you might ask, could be wrong with this?!

Even superpowers manifest in excess.

When my passion gets misplaced, it can disrupt my flow.

When I linger too long in my yin, I forget that my yang needs attention. The most recent case in point, if my yin is coaching, my yang (my masculine energy), is branding. In other words, because it’s natural for me to give, I forget that I need to promote.

That is, until something reminds me – like empty space in my calendar – and I turn my attention to my yang. And with that pivot, I turn my attention away from my life-force. Said simply, I turn away from my heart.

And when I turn away from my heart, my yin revolts in anger. My back, which carries the responsibility as sole provider for my child, ties up in painful knots. My heart, the seed and source of my superpower, begins to shrink. This inner conflict physically hurts.

Herein lies my inner conflict: I am a solomompreneur trying to live meaningfully in two worlds. 

Perplexed, I get curious. I scout for limiting beliefs. Where is there fear? 

Perplexed, I get still. I scan for uncomfortable emotions. When do I feel anxious? 

Ah, that moment of irritation with my daughter yesterday, what was that really about? Responsibility. Pressure. The pressure to provide for her heart, her soul, her future. Good to know.

My belief: it’s up to me. My emotion: irritation. My motivation: pressure. I start to piece together what I know from what I don’t know.



Then lying on my acupuncture’s table, I begin to feel my energy shift and I experience a succession of ideas that emanate from a single realization: My spiritual lesson is learning how to use my yin to feed my yang.

In other words, rather than turn my back on my heart to ease the pressure, I can service responsibility from my heart.

What I feed thrives.

I can feed both. I must feed both.

My growth edge is living in the threshold between two great desires: How to feed and nurture what is most essential, while also supporting the one I feed.  

I will make many mistakes along the way. I welcome them. All the magic happens outside of my comfort zone.

I hope you'll join me.